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Writer's pictureLozz Benson

WELCOME TO MY JOURNEY

G’day. Welcome to my blog. Welcome to my journey and my quest for knowledge about maintaining well-being on and off the road.


Well-Being: the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.


Touring: the act of travelling on an extended journey/organised trip to several different places.


I am a musician, more specifically a drummer and vocalist amongst other things. Since this my first post, I feel that I should introduce myself so you can understand my background and what brought me to the idea of starting this blog.


I am a human, just trying to earn a living and work my way through life. I have big dreams and aspirations and enjoy being creative. I am always learning, seeking knowledge on the things that interest me and always trying to find a balance in the chaos.


As a regular gigging muso, I’ve planned and budgeted my own tours, managed my own band, booked my own shows and done my own promo. I’ve played as a session musician, done the late-night load outs, the long drives interstate for weekend gigs, festivals, circus shows, cover gigs, pub gigs and all the rest, and sometimes teach music during the week. I studied Jazz drums for 4 years and but will always be a 4-to-the-floor girl.


In my spare time I cuddle my dog and go for hikes. I love sci-fi movies and enjoy a good soy chai latte. I’m a Capricorn and my favourite colour is green. I like listening to Marilyn Manson, The Dandy Warhols and Crosby, Stills and Nash. I love reading and will happily spend the afternoon preparing and cooking a hearty vegetable soup. Political views = vanilla ice cream is the best flavour and so is the first Jurassic Park movie.


So… now that you know my star sign and fav colour, I feel that we’ve intimately connected and now I can move on to exactly what my game plan is with this blog. This blog is specifically for people who are on the road, or have had experiences with touring as a musician, a guitar tech, a tour manager, sound engineer, you name it. Or maybe you’re not a musician or roadie at all and you just want to learn more about maintaining your well-being as a creative person. I am going to blog about things that I am still learning about and want to learn more about, and my experiences.


Up until this year I had no experience with extensive touring as a musician. I’d never been away for 2-3 months at a time; that concept was unknown to me. I had been away for shorter stints but nothing like this. The idea to write this blog came to me after a weekend away in August this year, and also after two distinct conversations that made me think about the impact that touring has on a person.


The first moment I was inspired was when I was in Melbourne performing at a weekend drum expo. While I was there, I purchased a book that happened to catch my eye - a book written by a drummer and well-known educator, Dom Famularo. The book was called “The Cycle of Self-Empowerment”. I found it interesting because amongst all the books on rudiments and 4-way co-ordination, there was this self-help book. It amazed me to see that a drummer had written this incredible book on goal setting. It got me thinking about sharing knowledge and this musician’s ability to produce such a great book.


A few weeks prior to this trip I had a conversation with my friend Nathan during a sound check for a show we were playing together at a guitar festival in Sydney. We spoke briefly about the pressures of going on the road. He told me some of his experiences and it got me thinking about musicians and the type of qualities we need to possess in order to be fit enough to cope with the stresses and challenges of this lifestyle. The performances, the travel, the financial and personal costs. In the end, he told me how he took a bit of a hiatus for a couple of years because his anxiety was so bad, but was coming back, releasing an album AND going back on tour. What a legend!


Fast forward to a couple of days after my return from my Melbourne I had just gotten off the phone to one of my childhood bestie’s. She had just finished the last ever Vans Warped Tour with her band Tonight Alive, and was sharing her mixed feelings with me. She was now in what I call “the gap” (the period of time in between tours) and was tired and emotional, sharing that she felt alone and lost, directionless and not sure what to do in her time off. She told me she felt like everything was future based, and that it was hard adjusting to being home again. She goes out again in 2 months for another tour. Listening to her, I felt that this constant shift of reality can be a bit of a mind fuck and trying to feel grounded when you’re constantly travelling around calling different places home can be hard.


At this time, I am also in “the gap” – and could relate to how she was feeling. Only a month prior I had been on my first tour to the states and only had less than 6 weeks before we went out again on a 3-month international tour. After coming off my first tour, I was deeply affected by anxiety and depression, but this is what started me on my own journey to self-care and healing. My mental health was in a bit of a state.


My first tour experience was hard. I was a “tour virgin” in a sense and I don’t mind admitting that. It was an amazing experience and opportunity and it showed me a side of myself I didn’t know existed. It showed me what I was made of and things you can only learn on your first extended tour. I was so nervous that I was googling things like ‘what to pack’ and ended up over packing. I had NO idea what to expect.


Plus, aside from not being used to performing in front of crowds of +1000 people and not being able to sleep properly on the bus due to me being an incredible light sleeper, I was also going through a breakup. Probably the most painful breakup in my life – all on the road, away from my support network, in a foreign country. Freakin’ HELL NO right? If you have been through the kind of breakup I am talking about, then you will know exactly the feels. Going through this meant I was not 100% present and honestly, I was so embarrassed to go through this event around people I hardly knew and that they had to see this side of me that would normally be kept behind closed doors. It was confronting for me, dealing with all my feelings and emotions whilst living on a bus with 16 people and somehow having to be professional. Thank goodness I was travelling with a handful of some of the most beautiful, caring people who helped me through and gave me the advice and support that I needed to just get me through. The universe works in mysterious ways.


I think there are so many great things about touring, but for my first time I was asking myself if it was meant to be hard or if it got easier? Could more conversations be had about how much of a toll it takes? Why is there not more tools and education out there about actually how to take care of your well-being on the road or do we just booze our way through it? Is it just something you learn over time and I am a complete rookie? How do you maintain that positive mindset and perspective?


Being in the vacuum world of touring, away from friends, your family and the real world is weird. Green rooms and load outs, hours of travel to the next city, revealing yourself to thousands of people on stage then coming back to your hotel room and being with yourself in silence. This is part of being a performer. Being away for so long then coming back and trying to get back into the gigging scene or back into your normal routine, slotting back into the real world.


Ah. The romantic and twisted perception of a creative person. The hardest thing is, if you haven’t done it – you have NO idea or perception of what it is really like. So, with that all being said, when I got back from being on tour in July and was struggling, I tried everything to try and feel better and to get back on track.


I was so desperate to find answers to the things I was feelings and reasons why. I was going for bushwalks every single day, as well as having long baths at night. I was making a real effort to see friends and stopped booking my regular gigs with my own band to give myself a rest and to heal. I was journaling, seeing a therpist and trying to get a hold of my mental illness, something which I was determined not to impact me next time around. I had a responsibility to be a professional musician on the road and needed to be able to perform at my peak and have clarity and energy.


In my break back at home, I was going well. I had formed great habits, was eating healthy, had a set of goals and things to keep me productive on the next tour run.


I got a phone call on the 29th August at 2.45pm. I was told that one of my close friends Luke had passed away, and that he had lost his battle with depression. I was devastated. Luke was an incredible musician and beautiful human, and I only saw him months ago when we performed at the same festival together in Melbourne. It made me question everything. It really hit me hard and I spent a couple of days pondering my own lifestyle.


After all these events had occurred, I sat thinking one afternoon about how I can learn more about how to take care of my wellbeing as a touring musician and creative human on and off the road. The things we have to deal, the up and down nature of income, the ever-changing work environments. Earning enough money to pay rent, petrol, everything else as well as pay for a recording or making an album if that’s something you wanted to do. Peoples triumphs and fails, learning experiences and how they deal with them.


This blog is for people like me, who realise that taking care of your well-being on the road is so important, as it can make or break you. I wish I had someone tell me what to expect when you go on tour – how the fuck to take care of yourself properly, tips and tricks. Obviously, I know there is no better way to learn that to just experience it by yourself, but sometimes it’s not always that easy.


The goal is to work towards having a collection of information in one place that is readily accessible to you that will act as a guide and provide advice on overall wellness, guidance, wisdom and insight on the many aspects of the touring lifestyle.


I hope to develop easy to follow strategies to provide people with the help they need to get through a tour whether it’s for the weekend, or a 6-month stint. Some of these things will include including morning routines, mindset, natural mood supplements, exercise goals, wellness suggestions such as meditation/yoga/tai chi, what to do when you have writers block, tips for flying on planes and travelling in cars, and looking after instrument and vocal health. I will provide information on organisations, helpful apps, podcasts and recommend books for people to use as resources for more information.


Thing is, touring is an essential part of being a musician and you will at some point have to do it. Whether it’s a trip to Newcastle for a weekend gig, or an interstate tour to Melbourne or Brisbane in a car with your 4 best mates, or whether its flying interstate for an international tour. Touring plays a key role in creating a fan base and getting exposure for your music. Or maybe, you are part of the crew – a roadie, a driver, a sound engineer, a tour manager, production manager, guitar tech. You would be surprised at how everyone goes through a lot of the same thing.


I’ve learnt not to be so hard on myself, and that at times being emotional or stressed is just a factor of the environment that I am in. But this is the career I have chosen, and I am set on learning how to navigate the challenges when they do arise.


So, I really hope that you can find something on here that might be a little bit helpful to you. And remember, always take a moment to ponder that we’re spinning on a planet in the middle of empty space. That always puts things in perspective for me.

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