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Writer's pictureLozz Benson

THOUGHTS IN LOCKDOWN

“The similarities between lock down and being on tour: days of the week become irrelevant and difficult to remember.”


Does anyone else think something similar? Apart from losing track of time, I’ve lost a little bit of motivation. A subtle state of shock has caused people to become numb; for me I’ve experienced a little brain fog and doubt. Yet on a morning like this, I’m quietly reminded about the simple pleasures in life. I figure I may as well enjoy the catharsis of simply sitting here to ponder.


I look out onto the sleepy town of Katoomba, with coffee in hand. The clouds emerge from deep within the valley, but the rain keeps it low among the trees. The fog envelopes the sky entirely. My attention is drawn to four playful parrots in a Eucalypt. These bright red creatures are stark against the blinding white light of the sky, so I have to squint to focus-in. For them, it’s just another day as the world keeps turning and events keep on unfolding; I stare with affection and wonder as they forage for their morning meal.


Nina Simone gently reminds me that ‘things are gonna get easier’, and so I feel a genuine sense of calm and hope. Although I can’t help but reflect upon those lyrics with a deep sense of fear, uncertainty and anger. Fear of an unknown future with six months of work cancelled, the uncertainty of how long this period of lockdown will last and how many more will get sick, with anger directed those we call our “leaders”, leaving many in a state of panic and sheer fucking frustration.


To stop this cycle of falling into negative thinking, I ask myself what is in my control at this point in time and how can I actively deal with these cards that have been dealt? How can I use perspective and mindset as a tool to get a grasp of the anxiety, and to move forward? Of course, happiness is not a permanent state of being and I embrace my fluctuations of melancholy, but in determination to not let the lowness consume my mood. I want to try to make the best of this extraordinary and somewhat overwhelming situation. Can you imagine what it's like in a third world country right now? I take a sip of hot coffee and tell myself that I am lucky.


Over the past week, I’ve been observing people post about their thoughts, updates on the ever- changing news, advice and expressions of similar feelings of confusion and helplessness. With everything happening so rapidly, I’ve actually felt a sense of slow motion. I’ve seen people come together as a community and share tips on helping others, staying creative, offering lessons and workshops. I've also enjoyed the humorous posts. Its been inspiring.


With all this newly acquired time, surely I should focus on those things that I’ve always wanted this extra time to do? In fact, I’ve always wanted to learn how to crochet, cross-stitch, and maybe I’ll do a paint by number. And then there’s that EP that I need to work on; I could even start a YouTube Channel too… actually I’ve always wanted to make Kombucha, or maybe I should plant a herb garden, or practice, or read those six books I haven’t read yet… the list goes on. Enough to drive one insane! Not entirely helpful.


With all those thoughts and ideas, shouldn’t we just live life like this anyway and make time for our dreams? Why did we have to wait for a global pandemic to get the ball rolling on personal hobbies, goals and projects? Maybe there will be a conscious awakening of people spending more time getting back to their roots, with this time to reflect, to heal, to change, and to grow.

This all being said however, I don’t want to get caught up in the notion that suddenly because we have all this time on our hands, we should do all the things we’ve ever wanted to achieve and be productive every day, because anything less would be lazy and not making use of this time. Reality is, maybe we need to rest, reimagine and rethink, as a collective. Unravel and unwind and get used to this ‘new’ norm.

These are my own reflections and what’s been most useful to me at this time.


1. It’s OK to do nothing. As in, the-only-thing-you-did-today-is-take-a-bath-and-eat-cornflakes-nothing.


2. Speaking of baths, create a self-care routine for yourself. This might mean doing a facial, making a really nourishing meal, meditating or journaling.


3. Don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. You do you, and create your own schedule or avoid having one at all. What is time anyway? #quantumphysics


4. Avoid excessive consumption of the media. Take a break.


5. Focus on things that ARE in your control.


6. Stay active. Get out of your pyjamas at least once in the day to walk up to the shops to get more 2 min noodles.


7. Mental health is a priority. Reach out to friends if you need to. You are not alone and don’t have to feel it either. LITERALLY EVERYONE is going through this together if that’s any consultation. If reaching out to someone is a struggle for you or its not your thang, journaling to help work through and process some thoughts can be useful. You can also just accept you might feel shit for a while and this too shall pass.


8. Stay present because obsessing about the future will create anxiety. Just take it one day at a time.


9. Whoever you end up being during this world wide pandemic is valuable. The only thing certain right now is the inevitable passing of time. And the way you pass that time is up to you. Have fun with that concept. Maybe create a list of things you’d like to try, like a new recipe, yodelling, creating the Mona Lisa out of Maltesers or engaging in a Lord of the Rings Marathon.


10. Practice gratitude as a way of grounding.


11. Stay in contact with your mates.

12. Its ok to have a little cry.


13. Get creative.


14. Listen to a podcast. A whole album. Watch a documentary.


15. Day dream.


16. Go with the flow and let go.


Listen to Nina Simone here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aoCqU4QcZo

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